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Information and inspiration for parents and caregivers of babies, toddlers and preschoolers

A message for moms: Self-care isn’t selfish

caring for yourself helps you care for your children

Being a mom is challenging — the toughest job you’ll ever love — and you want to do your best for your little ones.

For those times that you feel your best maybe isn’t enough, here’s a reminder: your child doesn’t need you to be supermom. They don’t need you to plan a different learning activity for every day of the week. They don’t need to be entertained every minute of the day.

What young children need are moments throughout the day to connect with you, cuddle up together, and talk, read, sing or play together.

You are enough. You are what they need. Just you being you.

Self Care Isn’t Selfish

In addition to giving yourself permission to not be perfect, keep in mind that you need to take care of yourself in order to take care of your children. Young kids — even babies — are sensitive to stress in their environment and their caregivers. So making time for things that help you relax and feel better will help you do your best for your kids.

You might not have the luxury of a long walk alone or online yoga. Just being able to take a shower with the door closed or eat dinner while it’s still warm may seem like a victory. Here are a few suggestions for ways to pause and recharge. Whatever works for you, the bottom line is that it’s important to care for yourself, too.

exercise is part of self-care for momsGet some exercise.

Some daily exercise, alone or with your little one in tow, can help clear your mind and lower stress. There are many indoor activities to get your blood pumping, but getting outdoors for a walk, run, bike ride or hike is even better. Just a few minutes of sunlight and fresh air will do you good.

Connect with friends and family.

Whether by phone or video chat, connecting with other adults whom you love and love you is an important way to lift your spirits and feel more normal. Talking about what you and your kids are going through may be helpful, but you might just want to tune out and share some laughs. 

finding time to relax is part of self-care for momsFind some quiet.

Give yourself a break by making time for reading a book, listening to music, meditating, taking a long shower or whatever activity (or non-activity) you find relaxing and lowers your stress. You can tag-team with your co-parent or other caregivers to get some alone time, or take advantage of your child’s naps or after they’ve gone to sleep.

Be healthy.nutritious food and getting enough sleep is part of self-care for moms

You probably do your best to serve your kids nutritious food and make sure they get enough sleep. These things are just as important for you, too. A healthy diet and a good night’s sleep — at least every once in a while — are important priorities to set for yourself and your family.


Your little ones learn by playing — by themselves, with other children, and with you. Playing with your kids is also a great way for you to tune out the pressure and demands of life for a while and have fun. Things like coloring together or playing with blocks can help you clear your mind and focus on the present, and that lowers stress and anxiety.

Ask for Help When You Need It

Every parent runs into challenges, and all parents need and deserve help at times. Don’t shy away from asking for help from friends, family or professionals.

Young children don’t come with an instruction manual. You’re going to have questions. There will be times when you can use some advice. Sometimes you just need someone to listen.

One place to reach out for help is the The Birth to Five Helpline, a free service available to all Arizona families with young children with questions or concerns about their infants, toddlers and preschoolers.

Updated from May 9, 2020

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