Managing Big Feelings Series: This blog is part of the Managing Big Feelings video series, featuring expert insight about hitting, biting, sharing and tantrums from an infant and early childhood mental health specialist, Tiffany Stenson, MC, IMH-E.
Toddlers are full of sweet moments. They give surprise hugs, laugh loudly and snuggle close when they are tired.
But toddlers also test limits. Sometimes that includes biting.
Biting can be upsetting for parents and caregivers. It may happen during play, at child care or even at home with family members. The good news is that biting is common in early childhood, and it often fades as children grow and develop stronger communication skills.
Understanding why toddlers bite can help parents respond calmly and supportively, guiding more positive behavior.
Why toddlers bite
This behavior tends to happen most often between the ages of one and two. Toddlers are still learning how to manage big feelings and communicate what they need.
Biting happens for many reasons during early childhood, such as:
- Teething or exploring with their mouths
- Curious about cause and effect
- Feeling frustrated or overwhelmed
- Struggling to communicate their needs
- Tired, hungry or overstimulated
- Trying to get attention quickly
Toddlers often do not yet have the words to explain their feelings. When emotions rise quickly, biting can become their fastest reaction.
The good news? As their language skills grow, biting usually decreases.
How to respond when biting happens
If a toddler bites, respond right away, but keep your reaction calm and simple. Short and clear messages help toddlers understand the boundary. Long explanations are harder for young children to process in the moment.
You might say, “Biting hurts. I can’t let you bite.”
Afterward, focus on the child who was bitten and make sure they are okay. This shows children that hurting others is taken seriously. Once everyone is calm, you can help your child think about safer ways to express their feelings.
Teaching safer ways to express feelings
Toddlers need words for their feelings. Practice phrases like:
- “Stop.”
- “My turn.”
- “Help.”
- “All done.”
When children learn these words, they are more likely to use language rather than bite.
Use positive reinforcement
Children learn from encouragement. When you see your child playing gently or using words, praise the behavior. For example, “I like how you asked for the toy,” or “You used your words. That was helpful.”
Positive feedback helps children repeat the behaviors you want to see. Each time you guide your child through a difficult moment, you are helping them build emotional skills they will use for the rest of their lives.
“Just like we want the children to learn through empathy, we need to have self-empathy and compassion for ourselves. It not only helps us in the moment, but it teaches and models for that child.”
— Tiffany Stenson, MC, IMH-E, Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Specialist
Offer alternatives
Give your child safe ways to respond to strong feelings. For example:
- Take deep breaths
- Ask for help
- Move to another activity
- Use words instead of actions
Over time, these alternatives become new, positive habits.
When to seek additional support
Biting usually decreases as children develop stronger language and social skills, around the ages of three or four. If biting continues frequently or seems to be getting worse, it may help to talk with your child’s pediatrician or an early childhood specialist.
Support and guidance can help identify what your child needs and how to respond in ways that support healthy development.
