{"id":63085,"date":"2026-04-09T19:58:41","date_gmt":"2026-04-09T19:58:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.firstthingsfirst.org\/?post_type=first-things&p=63085"},"modified":"2026-04-16T00:02:11","modified_gmt":"2026-04-16T00:02:11","slug":"toddler-tantrums-why-distraction-doesnt-work","status":"publish","type":"first-things","link":"https:\/\/www.firstthingsfirst.org\/es\/first-things\/toddler-tantrums-why-distraction-doesnt-work\/","title":{"rendered":"Why the \u201cJessica\u201d trick isn\u2019t the answer to tantrums\u2014and what actually helps"},"content":{"rendered":"

If you\u2019ve spent any time online lately, you\u2019ve probably seen the <\/span>\u201cJessica\u201d trend<\/span><\/a>\u2014parents calling out a random name to interrupt a toddler\u2019s tantrum. And yes, it can work in the moment. It grabs a child\u2019s attention, shifts their focus and briefly stops the meltdown.<\/span><\/p>\n

But here\u2019s the thing. Parenting isn\u2019t about stopping the behavior in the moment. It\u2019s about helping your child build the skills they need for the long run.<\/span><\/p>\n

Managing Big Feelings: How parents can respond to tantrums<\/p>\n

Learn why young children have tantrums and how parents can respond with calm and connection using simple strategies<\/span><\/p>\n

Find solutions<\/p>\n

The \u201cJessica\u201d trick relies on distraction. It doesn\u2019t help children understand what they\u2019re feeling, why they\u2019re feeling it or what to do with those big emotions next time. Over time, that matters.<\/span><\/p>\n

In early childhood, tantrums aren\u2019t bad behavior\u2014they\u2019re communication. Young children don\u2019t yet have the language or brain development to regulate their emotions. When we skip over that emotional moment, we miss an opportunity to teach them something deeper.<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s where connection comes in.<\/span><\/p>\n

At the heart of healthy development is the relationship between a child and their caregiver. As explained in Circle of Security<\/a>, a commonly used method for supporting parent-child relationships, children need a safe, trusted adult who helps them feel secure when emotions are intense and supports them as they learn to navigate the world. When a child is overwhelmed, they aren\u2019t looking for distraction\u2014they\u2019re looking for safety.<\/span><\/p>\n